My heart is broken in two...
Tonight as I reflect upon our trip to Kenya I find myself torn in half. On one hand, I feel a calling to Africa that is so strong that I feel as though I have been away from my hometown too long and desperately need to return. The country calls to me, it's people call to me. I long to be God's hands and feet to the widows and orphans and I long to meet those who have never heard of my Jesus and tell them of a hope that they have never imagined. I want to feed the hungry and help clothe the naked but......These are pictures of the children that will likely stay behind. Our son Weston, 
our daughter Kastiney and her new husband Derek . Even now, I write this with tears streaming down my face. I LOVE my children and my heart breaks at the thought of being separated from them.
Weston is a very bright, young man which has made some of his earlier years
difficult for me as he challenged our every decision concerning him. You see, I
was raised in a family where the simplest opinion was considered "back talk"
and so I was very frustrated by his insistence that we justify our rulings and opinions. Through it all, we have learned to respect each other and I enjoy his company immensely. He is hilarious, quick-witted and is becoming a compassionate man. I see this man that he is becoming and I burst with pride and ask myself.. How am I to exist on another continent from my son? Where will I be when he is preparing to go to prom with his girlfriend? Who will fix his boutonniere and tell him to be a gentleman? How can I miss the upcoming concerts where he will shine in his role as Concert Master? Who will hug him in spite of his discomfort and embarrassment? Is this what God truly wants from me? Derek and Kastiney have only been married about two months. I love to watch them interact with each other, struggling to merge into "one". I want to be here for them, to be available for advice when times are tough, to share in their joy...to someday hold their babies in my arms. Kastiney has been my "mini-me" for most of her life. She has played the role of oldest daughter well. She has been my right hand since she was small and has always been my encourager. I waited for such a long time for her to be an adult so that I could finally enjoy her on a woman to woman basis. Now it's finally time. She is a beautiful, mature young woman and now I am supposed to be in Africa? God, please explain!I know that God will not give us more than we can bear but right now this feels unbearable. Please pray for us that God will speak so clearly that we cannot doubt and that he will heal the brokenness in my heart.Labels: children, Kenya, mission, separation
In the beginning...
Since announcing our intent to move to Kenya we have had many people ask the question, "How did this all come about?" Well...you asked for it! The idea of missions was first brought up to us about 13 yrs ago. We took a test that was designed to evaluate the area of ministry that we would be most suited to serve in. When our test was evaluated, they told us that our number one "area of giftedness" was missions. Howie and I immediately responded with, "No way!" or "Forget it!" I told the class leader that there was no chance that I would move to some "weird country" and eat their "weird food" and laughed in his face. Looking back, I think that God must have been laughing harder!
Two years ago, we began the long process of adopting two children from Ethiopia. As we spent time going through the steps, we met many people, one who runs an adoption agency in Spokane. As it turned out, we didn't adopt. We were a little confused because we had really felt that we were supposed to, but God had a plan. While attending the International Convention for Open Bible, I heard a man speak about his mission in Kenya. He was issuing a plea for prayer and support for their new orphanage. They were trying to establish a home for children who live and sleep on the streets in their city. I felt like I was supposed to help connect him to the adoption agency here. I gave him my email and told him that I would try to help him contact her. To my dismay, it wasn't that easy. The laws for adoption in Kenya make it very difficult for international adoptions.
I started to question my ability to hear God at all. First, the adoption for us and then the whole thing with Patrick! I felt very foolish but it was all part of a bigger plan. We have not only kept in contact with Patrick and his wife Alice, but have also heard their heart for Kenya. It is a heart that we now share. Now we are not only willing, but excited to go to this "weird country" and eat their "weird food". As a matter of fact I cooked a Kenyan meal last night! I think that God is smiling (if not chuckling). Could He lead us somewhere else from here; to another unexpected turn? Absolutely! We look forward to it and trust that He has a wonderful plan for us!
Labels: food, Kenya, mission
Miracles
Through my life I have heard people raise the question of the authenticity of miracles. I will even admit that I have at times tried to rationalize my way out of believing in them as well. That is no longer the case! It has been several months since we began praying about moving to Kenya. Howie is (as all of you know) a very practical person and it didn't make sense to him for us to move to a third world country when our youngest daughter, Jade was struggling with a muscular disease. So he decided to follow in the footsteps of Gideon and put out a fleece (Judges 6:36-40). He asked God to heal Jade if He really wanted us to go. The whole story is a long one that maybe I will post one day, but suffice it to say that she is now off of all but one of her prescriptions. This is a miracle! No more weekly injections and emotional roller coasters. No more feeling like the "sick" kid who can't do anything. Our beautiful, tough as nails daughter now runs up and down the sidewalk over and over as she trains for the race that she will now be able to run. Thank you God!
As if one obvious healing miracle wasn't enough, God decided to catch us off guard with one that we didn't even ask for (what an awesome Father!). Joey went in two days ago for his yearly eye appointment. I was a little concerned because he hadn't been wearing his glasses like he was supposed to. He has been wearing glasses for a few years now and they were pretty thick too. We were going to ask if he could get contacts because he is becoming more conscientious about his appearance. I hesitated a bit though because I wasn't sure how accessible contacts would be in Africa. To our shock the optometrist told us that he no longer needs glasses. She was perplexed and said that it is very uncommon for the eyes to correct themselves. We were thrilled for him, but it took me a day or two to really soak up the true impact. This is just one less thing to hinder us on the mission field.
Our God is a loving, considerate God and there is nothing too big OR too small for His attention. I am so blessed that He looks after us so carefully...allowing the things that grow us and removing those things that are in our way. This has renewed my faith; not only in miracles and healing, but in the knowledge of His tender loving care for us.
Labels: healing, miracles, mission
Safari...
It has been an unrealized dream of ours to go on a safari. We are adventurers by nature and have a great love of the outdoors so you can imagine the appeal of jumping in a dusty SUV to explore unseen territory and animals that most have only seen in a zoo or photograph. This is how we have always envisioned our safari, but God's vision was not the same. Safari is literally translated as "journey" in Swahili. It has nothing to do with animals or rugged vehicles. A journey can be to any number of destinations and for varied extensions of time. It is on such a safari that we now find ourselves.
For many months we have been praying about going to Kenya to minister to the people there and have just recently decided to begin preparing for our journey. If this sounds like the ramblings of a couple of crazy people, don't be concerned; You hear correctly and we ARE crazy people. This is a comforting thought, however, since the Bible is full of crazy people who accomplished amazing things for God. This is our goal as well.
To answer the inevitable questions; we don't know when, but we think it will take a year or so to get ready. How? By the grace of God and support of friends and family. Why? Our lives are not our own and God has gifted and prepared us for such a calling. Now that He has called, how could we not answer?
And so we set out on our safari hoping that you will join us in our magnificent adventure!
Howie and Charisse
Tonight as I reflect upon our trip to Kenya I find myself torn in half. On one hand, I feel a calling to Africa that is so strong that I feel as though I have been away from my hometown too long and desperately need to return. The country calls to me, it's people call to me. I long to be God's hands and feet to the widows and orphans and I long to meet those who have never heard of my Jesus and tell them of a hope that they have never imagined. I want to feed the hungry and help clothe the naked but......
our daughter Kastiney and her new husband Derek . Even now, I write this 
