Who's got the power?
I have been struggling through the last five months, lying in bed with horrible back pain. Through it all I have taken pride in "handling it well". A couple of days ago I realized that I wasn't really handling it well - I was putting on a front. For some time I had been looking forward to my appointment with the neurologist because I was certain that once I went in I would get a date for my disc replacement surgery. That didn't happen. I was told that, although I am a great candidate for that surgery, there was next to no chance that L&I would pay for it. The solution that was suggested was to do a different type of procedure, removing a portion of the disc which would possible take away the sciatic pain but do nothing for my back. I was devastated! It was then that I realized that I wasn't handling it well. I wasn't handling it at all. I was just holding my breath until I could get the result that I wanted -then when I didn't....the air went out of me entirely. I couldn't stop crying and really felt hopeless.
Howie became concerned and called our good friends to see if they could get through to me. They told me the things I knew were true -"it will work out", "we will find a way", etc. but nothing really got through to me until my friend said,"why are you giving this one person the power to take away your hope?" It really struck me and changed my perspective. How many times in our lives do we allow people the power to change who we are, destroy our hope, influence our beliefs and opinions? It happens to me way too often and I find myself asking why. The bottom line is that, besides myself, the only one that I want to allow to have that kind of power is God. Yet if you look at my track record I allow other people to influence me way more often than I allow God to. Since it is not in His nature to initiate a power take over, I am going to have to consciously place Him in charge every day. I know that if I do, I will be at peace no matter the circumstance because He knows what's best for me - even if it's not what I want.
I challenge you all to carefully evaluate your lives and answer truthfully - Who's got the power?
posted by The Hambleton Family @ 10:21 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home